Usually I don’t explain my writing, I often feel like I couldn’t be more sincere than in the lines between the lines I’ve written but bear with me.
These two poems were originally created as a couple under the same title (in my head) but I only managed to write the one that I later called “Demon in love” because I became genuinely sad as I was writing it and had to wait with the counter part “Apology”, which also made me sad.
I know there’s some ambiguity on whether or not the “Demon” is suffering more than the loved one (or suffering at all) but I hope reading both parts should perhaps clarify things, thank you.

Ami Fidèle

Suffering (Demon in love)

I generally render in fever due
to my fascination of you,
no lie could prettier than the
truth that lies before me,
and no lie could face the wrath
of time and last this long.

Try not to alter that feeling
that genuinely allures me,
I’m in love with that saddened
mood you so beautifully
carry around,
I find nothing to be more
lovely than your sorrowful
expression on a rainy day.

Don’t seek shelter in my arms,
though I carelessly boast
with strenght I recognize
that even I can bleed,
you were first to prove it.

My current smile is one stolen
from you but it won’t suffice,
so please take centre stage
in my palm,
I intend to take everything
from you.

           Suffering (Apology)

I generally render in fear due
to my affection for you,
you exude strength and passion
in your pursuit of my tears
heedless to my decaying years.

You were one to walk on spring
with petals to your feet
you’d offer love to abandoned eyes
but all I gave was solitude
to your heart,
for such crime there’s no place
for me in heaven.

I’m mindful of your intent
with your presence,
but ending my smile
won’t restore yours,
my tears won’t heal
your frail soul
and the pain won’t stop purely
because my heart does.

But if it’s that important for you
to see me crawl,
if this truly is the colour your love
has turned into,
then I’ll be your canvas,
paint on me.

Close Encounter by Natalie Holland


2 thoughts on “Suffering

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